sitting in the airport waiting area in joburg now. and i am doing everything i can to stop thinking about leaving. but i am also trying to make the most of my time here... this last hour anyway. SIGH. ok. home & all that nonsense. but dubai first. (see the escapist rearing its ugly head?)

last night in SA.

oh. my. good. ness. how is this even possibleeeeeee. my last night in South Africa!! in 24 hours i'll be on a plane heading HOME. this is madness. seriously. i'm too far gone to even begin to imagine what home will feel like. my delayed reactions are kicking in already....
this sucks. 
ok. shall busy myself with other things now.

its never nice.

so, i'm out of tuksdorp for good. it felt sooo weird to see a neat (and empty) room. the last time i saw my room like that was when i first moved in and i refused to unpack anything, and instead, i went to rent a car. i think it was only a few days later that i actually got down to unpacking...

anyway, i am exhausted.

[edit: exhausted and forgetful. whats new right. heh. i left tuksdorp on the morning of the day that i wrote this. and what a morning it was. after a night out, trying to bring my brother to zanzu and ending up i stones, i spent the rest of the night, morning really, burning photos, packing and reminiscing. slept for about 2 hours because, well, it was my last night there and the ceiling needs someone to admire it for a bit longer. just before i left, we got the car packed and ready to go, and i realised my housemate wasnt back yet. at first, i thought she was just asleep, but it turns out she didnt come home. haha. typical. i called her & she got back in time, and we said bye. i hate goodbyes. and i am never able to say anything. i am better at it now, but it still sucks. anyway, after all of that, i left tuksdorp for good. and on a 25day adventure of people and of southern africa. more specifically, with the parent. so... that teary-too-early-in-the-morning-and-too-brusque-goodbye marked the end of SEP2010. it was a time of learning, of fun and even of love. one of these days, i'll do a proper postmortem of the time there.]

ironies.

well. its been a long day. & i think i deserve to go to bed early tonight. but i'm here being hardworking & pushing out assignments. when i say here, i'm actually at the residences' computer room at 12.07am. sighz.

#1. today, when i dragged myself up for a morning class (like FINALLY), i am greeted by an empty classroom. well... its not uncommon here, so i make a friend with another lost student and we walk out nonchalantly wondering what update we missed.. i dont know where class is, or if there is even a class! ohwell. i will see on friday. if it gets too bad, i'll probably email the prof.

#2. i photocopy a textbook.. and now i dont know where it is. i think its at the +27 cafe & i hope shep (the barista who makes the most amazing cappucinos & my favorite americano) has it.. it would be retarded if i had to send it for photocopying AGAIN.

#3. my laptop adapter (which was fixed, or so i thought) throws out sparks & i tried to get it fixed again, but i'm told its best if i buy a new one. retarded thing is, my dad has so many spares at home! why couldnt it wait a liiiittle longer before it died! so, i might be getting a new one, or i might be sharing one with my housemate. her HP adapter died on her too!! (its not just me..) maybe its like a worldwide conspiracy thingy. you never know.

#4. best one of all. i email my dad an update, saying that i'm fine etcetc, and i just got a reply asking when i'll be going to china. my brother is going for 10 days in dec, my dad is going for the entire of dec.. and so, guess who's going to be there to fetch me from the airport when i return??? and its from my longest trip (thus far). win.

interesting life here ah. & its mexico's 200th annivesary of independence today. tequila & crazy mexican friends to round it off. its getting hotter each day, i cant even tahan wearing JEANS. (and i'm comfortable in jeans in singapore weather!) at least its not humid & i dont sweat. wonder how summer will be like though. its only spring & leaves are sprouting up overnight! the brown landscape is turning really green, & the rains havent even arrived!

grrr. but..

boring, bummer of a week.
the zimbabwe plan flew out the window because people backed out.
well, things like this happen all the time & i'm in africa... SO. plan B (:
but anyway, i entrusted this plan to God, so its not working according to my plan,
but its still in God's plans. i wonder what.

and now, i am blogging again because i have a ton of stuff to study! & an assignment to write that comes with thickthickthick documents to read & analyse. MAJOR BOO.. the sun was shining so nicely today as well & i was stuck in the house trying to study. i've never liked the sun as much at home, but here, I LOVE IT. i spend a lot of time in school reading (and eventually napping) while lying on the grass under the sun. its awesome. and when i get the chance to, i cycle to the lake, lie on the grass & read. note to self: find a quiet lake in Singapore (if possible)

life here has been pretty nice. i could really really live here.. at least while i'm studying. there's so much to do outside of school!ministry opportunities abound, a lovely nature reserve (one of many) within cycling distance, nice dinners costing only 10bucks and road trips to look forward to. until they get cancelled, like zimbabwe! speaking of road trips. its been 1.5 months here in school, and i still havent done a weekend away!!!! (joburg is not counted, thats like going to johor) on a brighter note, spring break is in 2 weeks, and it lasts for 12 days. WOOHOO.  plans in the works are either going up the eastern coast of south africa, throwing in Lesotho & Swaziland. or, if i can find 2 more people, going up to zimbabwe, through zambia and back down from botswana. the latter is an option that will get done either sooner or later, but it will SO get done.

people were talking about homesickness today. and it struck me that we are LIVING here. we are building relationships, developing bonds, moulding & being moulded. buying groceries, checking budgets, finding our way around, making certain routes our own,  recognising & slowly befriending the familiar faces, adapting to life as it is lived here.  when i leave, i'll know where to shop, what brand of bread i like, how to get to my favorite coffeeshop,  how much meat to bring to a Bring-your-own-meat-braai, and so much more!
names of places and roads will no longer be a strange-sounding word on my tongue, but they'll carry with them, memories & recollections of sights, sounds and smells.  these months here will always remain a part of our lives where we were absent from the happenings at home,  where friends & family lived lives without our participation, where, for a moment in eternity, we are South African students in the city of Pretoria.
this must be what it feels like to be a missionary overseas, although that would be waaay better!

this city really grows on you. i've stayed a month-half in taipei, 2 months on a ship and (as of now) 3 months here. and its a little bit like how the ship became "home", except, that "home" was a lot bigger & moved a lot more.  i really hate to imagine how it would be when the time comes for me to leave.  because, far off as it seems now, it will come way too soon. once i get back from spring break, its a month of classes, then exams, and my second (and last) travelling segment.

eish. i better get back to studying. lekker (good) slaap (sleep) not happening tonight neh.