the worry-er in me is showing through again. but i think africa's a great place to tone down this particular trait of mine.... OHWELLZ. I IS EXCITED. (:
my 13-day adventure starts tomorrow!! small subset of my 7-month adventure here, but still major awesomeness. i dont know if i'll get lost somewhere, but like i was telling cheryl today, getting lost is in my genes. getting found, on the other hand, is a totally different question.. one thing though, my work is travelling with me. tonzzz of readings to do! and assignments due on the day i get back! achhh....
on a lighter note, i have a mascot now. hehe. because i dont always have the opportunity to make nice photos with me in them, i bought a little anteater (i'm actually not sure if africa has anteaters, but there wasnt much of a choice) to put in my photos! (: a lion would have been so much more apt, but i dont know where mr lion is!! i havent seen him since pre-UGC days.
goodbye to everyone who reads this! (: i'll update a sentence or two if i get the chance, but if not, hello again on the 4th (or later) of October! hoorraaaayy! (:
blessed be Your name,
in the land that is plentiful,
where the streams of abundance flow,
blessed be Your name!
too often i've put the lyrics of this song in a negative tone, but this season is a season of refreshing and of learning to walk ever closely with God in the lush meadows. (not that africa is lush, but...)
hello holiday!
policiespoliciespolicies.
Monday, September 20
i have been in the computer lab for almost 12 hours now. apart from 2 meal breaks (of 2slices of bread with jam and a cup of hot chocolate) and 1 short session of tabletennis with isa, claudia, anna and shane, i have been staring at documents and statistics the entire day! oh. yes, and of course. the ultra long chats on fb with various people (that helped make my day). but now, i feel so brain dead that i get confused while writing!
this is what i ought to have been doing, bulgaria - monetary policy. south africa - trade policy, not industrial policy. but.. every now and then, i catch myself drifting off and i start reading articles on bulgaria's industrial & trade policy, looking for statistics on South Africa's industrial policy (which i do not need now because i've done my assignment for tomorrow) and all sorts of rubbish in between. i. am. confused.
oh. but it does not help that the club next to tuksdorp (the residences) was blasting techno & all that club-ish music until 4am. it wasnt so bad when i was doing my work in the lab until 2am, but at 2.30, i gave up and called the police. 10111. well, i got through on the 3rd try and made a report (its illegal noise pollution after 12midnight) and i waited. and read. and waited. and tried to sleep. nothing happens. the music continues driving me nuts. so i call again at 3.30am, and guess what, this is africa! police lines can be engaged for more than 10minutes!! yes, i was overdoing it and calling for 10minutes straight, but...uhm. if i were in an emergency, i dont think the police are going to be the first people i call. anyway, i eventually get through, ask for an update & find out that my report doesnt exist, but someone else by the name of leonard has made a report! wow, or WOW. ok, so the dispatch says (again) they're sending someone to check it out, but nothing happens until exactly 3.59am. i assume the club closed & the police didnt make it there. but such SILENCE.
sometimes south africa can just drive you nuts. i am quite happy i live in singapore. after 10pm, NO LOUD MUSIC. stupid clubs. oh. but then again, when i'm here, there's nothing stopping me from belting that place with rotten eggs & expired milkbombs if they do this again.. heh.
police are not very effective here, just like their policies.
2 days to ROADTRIP! (: but 2 very very very busy days. sighz.
this is what i ought to have been doing, bulgaria - monetary policy. south africa - trade policy, not industrial policy. but.. every now and then, i catch myself drifting off and i start reading articles on bulgaria's industrial & trade policy, looking for statistics on South Africa's industrial policy (which i do not need now because i've done my assignment for tomorrow) and all sorts of rubbish in between. i. am. confused.
oh. but it does not help that the club next to tuksdorp (the residences) was blasting techno & all that club-ish music until 4am. it wasnt so bad when i was doing my work in the lab until 2am, but at 2.30, i gave up and called the police. 10111. well, i got through on the 3rd try and made a report (its illegal noise pollution after 12midnight) and i waited. and read. and waited. and tried to sleep. nothing happens. the music continues driving me nuts. so i call again at 3.30am, and guess what, this is africa! police lines can be engaged for more than 10minutes!! yes, i was overdoing it and calling for 10minutes straight, but...uhm. if i were in an emergency, i dont think the police are going to be the first people i call. anyway, i eventually get through, ask for an update & find out that my report doesnt exist, but someone else by the name of leonard has made a report! wow, or WOW. ok, so the dispatch says (again) they're sending someone to check it out, but nothing happens until exactly 3.59am. i assume the club closed & the police didnt make it there. but such SILENCE.
sometimes south africa can just drive you nuts. i am quite happy i live in singapore. after 10pm, NO LOUD MUSIC. stupid clubs. oh. but then again, when i'm here, there's nothing stopping me from belting that place with rotten eggs & expired milkbombs if they do this again.. heh.
police are not very effective here, just like their policies.
2 days to ROADTRIP! (: but 2 very very very busy days. sighz.
the weekend is here!
Saturday, September 18
i've never felt so excited about every tiny thing that happens routinely in my life! realise that here, i'm going, YAY i see green leaves! great sunny day! nice breeze! love the shade! its time for class! dinner! blue skies! trip to the mall! weekend! ohh, bird! everything! like! this! tiring. but so amazing. haha. & its the weekend! (! again).
had myself a really nice friday.. albeit very unproductive. but i splurged at a christian bookstore. crapz. got myself 3 new (and cheaP!) books... need.to.stop.doing.that. & today, going to watch a rugby game (how can i be in south africa and not watch rugby right)... so yes, even though i've only had like 4hours of sleep, i still need to finish my assignments (ARGGGGH) with a dying battery (ARRRGGH) and go watch rugby & etcetcetc..and then! on wednesday, i leave for zimbabwe! (will be contactable with my singapore number because south african sim cards dont have such thing as auto-roaming & coverage is only within south africa)
but. first, ass.sign.ment!!
ugh. its interesting but all the numbers are driving me nutsss...
as of today, i'm left with exactly 3 months here. it'll pass too quickly & i'll enjoy it while it lasts. but i feel ready to go home to my normal weekend schedule...
ironies.
Thursday, September 16
well. its been a long day. & i think i deserve to go to bed early tonight. but i'm here being hardworking & pushing out assignments. when i say here, i'm actually at the residences' computer room at 12.07am. sighz.
#1. today, when i dragged myself up for a morning class (like FINALLY), i am greeted by an empty classroom. well... its not uncommon here, so i make a friend with another lost student and we walk out nonchalantly wondering what update we missed.. i dont know where class is, or if there is even a class! ohwell. i will see on friday. if it gets too bad, i'll probably email the prof.
#2. i photocopy a textbook.. and now i dont know where it is. i think its at the +27 cafe & i hope shep (the barista who makes the most amazing cappucinos & my favorite americano) has it.. it would be retarded if i had to send it for photocopying AGAIN.
#3. my laptop adapter (which was fixed, or so i thought) throws out sparks & i tried to get it fixed again, but i'm told its best if i buy a new one. retarded thing is, my dad has so many spares at home! why couldnt it wait a liiiittle longer before it died! so, i might be getting a new one, or i might be sharing one with my housemate. her HP adapter died on her too!! (its not just me..) maybe its like a worldwide conspiracy thingy. you never know.
#4. best one of all. i email my dad an update, saying that i'm fine etcetc, and i just got a reply asking when i'll be going to china. my brother is going for 10 days in dec, my dad is going for the entire of dec.. and so, guess who's going to be there to fetch me from the airport when i return??? and its from my longest trip (thus far). win.
interesting life here ah. & its mexico's 200th annivesary of independence today. tequila & crazy mexican friends to round it off. its getting hotter each day, i cant even tahan wearing JEANS. (and i'm comfortable in jeans in singapore weather!) at least its not humid & i dont sweat. wonder how summer will be like though. its only spring & leaves are sprouting up overnight! the brown landscape is turning really green, & the rains havent even arrived!
#1. today, when i dragged myself up for a morning class (like FINALLY), i am greeted by an empty classroom. well... its not uncommon here, so i make a friend with another lost student and we walk out nonchalantly wondering what update we missed.. i dont know where class is, or if there is even a class! ohwell. i will see on friday. if it gets too bad, i'll probably email the prof.
#2. i photocopy a textbook.. and now i dont know where it is. i think its at the +27 cafe & i hope shep (the barista who makes the most amazing cappucinos & my favorite americano) has it.. it would be retarded if i had to send it for photocopying AGAIN.
#3. my laptop adapter (which was fixed, or so i thought) throws out sparks & i tried to get it fixed again, but i'm told its best if i buy a new one. retarded thing is, my dad has so many spares at home! why couldnt it wait a liiiittle longer before it died! so, i might be getting a new one, or i might be sharing one with my housemate. her HP adapter died on her too!! (its not just me..) maybe its like a worldwide conspiracy thingy. you never know.
#4. best one of all. i email my dad an update, saying that i'm fine etcetc, and i just got a reply asking when i'll be going to china. my brother is going for 10 days in dec, my dad is going for the entire of dec.. and so, guess who's going to be there to fetch me from the airport when i return??? and its from my longest trip (thus far). win.
interesting life here ah. & its mexico's 200th annivesary of independence today. tequila & crazy mexican friends to round it off. its getting hotter each day, i cant even tahan wearing JEANS. (and i'm comfortable in jeans in singapore weather!) at least its not humid & i dont sweat. wonder how summer will be like though. its only spring & leaves are sprouting up overnight! the brown landscape is turning really green, & the rains havent even arrived!
some stories from the UGC!
Wednesday, September 15
most.amazing.outreach.of.my.life. (so far! there's more to come.)
some links from stories posted on the OM South Africa website
- our KwamHlanga outreach it was really such a huge highlight for our team! & especially for me (:
- overall highlights in the UGC blog + 2 stories from my team! the free hugs & the holiday one from my teammate
- orientation! slideshow of what we went through during the 3-day orientation. it was amazing! btw, the photo of me was taken really early in the morning. embarrassing just-wake-up face....
anyway, updates, my laptop adapter died on me a few days ago, i went to get it repaired, but the guy did a really shoddy job & there's SPARKS coming from the exposed wires. freaky. & hence, i am not touching it until i bring it back for a PROPER fix. i really hope the guy is honest & repairs it properly this time. ): its got to last me another 3 months!!and its quarter 4 here in Tuks (the university of pretoria). i've had so many changes in lecturers & module contents that i am quite confused. but there's also been an increase in workload especially for the international economics module.. honestly, i dont know if its good or bad because the assignment is definitely a huge chunk of work thats more than its worth (grade-wise), but its practical, exciting & promising. they're getting top officials to come and see our presentations on the trade policy here! so.... i'll see how it goes. no more slacking.
and the weekend was just fantastic. (: interesting night at hatfield square with my camera, apartheid museum on sat with m-l, many great conversations, thought-provoking message (again) by Ps Jabu, and frozen yoghurt after church with a housemate & church friends (a very small step towards inviting my housemate to church!).
one last thing, SPRING BREAK NEXT WEEK! wooohoooo! excited much! victoria falls, kalahari desert (anyone remembers sec 2 geog??), camping, rafting, horseback riding & more fun stuff!
what a friend we have in Jesus!
He blesses, just because!
oomph
Monday, September 13
its been a busy weekend. & amazing one too. not going to zimbabwe didnt result in any loss of happeningz & learning. (: i was so tired last night i slept at NINE pm.. it was supposed to be a nap, but i only woke up at 4am when i started freezing.
& i learnt so much! (: expectantly waiting for more.
& i learnt so much! (: expectantly waiting for more.
spring day & whatnots
Thursday, September 9
ok spring day. very. interesting. day.
pontsho invited me to a spring-day gospel concert featuring a famous african gospel singer. but it was way more than that. the opening acts lasted 2hours. there were dances, songs, a praise session, and more songs. i only knew the first 2 songs that the church worship team sang. but it was really really really really awesome. i realise now, that our outreach church experience of ear-piercing music, spontaneous mass-dancing (cool stuff), singing, shouting etc, that was a TYPICAL church experience. because, it was the same tonight! except the sound system didnt screech feedback & static all the time. but conclusion: africans can sing. VERY WELL.
after the interval, the main guy came on... my first formal introduction to african gospel, & it sounded amazing! cant wait for heaven! but when he started preaching, it was the prosperity gospel.. at first i felt bad for being so condemning about the message, so i started to listen really carefully, and confirmed my doubts. this guy was just making sweeping statements about victory and success, and it was just discomforting to see how the audience responded so strongly! I was learning so much just being there & listening...and there was this point where the guy said, there's someone here tonight that God wants here and He wants to make you great when you hear my message! and, being the cynic that i am, i almost laughed to myself because i thought, yes sir, you're talking about me, because i'm here & i’m praying your message doesnt stick in the hearts of these people, & you're getting it wrong, its God who's being made great tonight by all these people who're giving spring bash a miss.
apparently, this is the first time they've done a concert like this for spring bash.. because here, spring bash is a HUGE event. and when i say event, i actually mean partying/drinking. its a university holiday (weird, its like they're PROMOTING this!)... a lot of crap happens when people get drunk. but anyway, the organiser said a few words & i realise that this event was organised with good intentions, a great initiative & a love for God.. a highlight also, was seeing the number of people rededicating their lives to God once again and also the salvations that took place!!
oh. and because this is african time, the event which was supposed to end by 9, ended at 11.45pm. a new friend i met walked me to hatfield square to meet up with the other exchange students (who are not home yet), & as we were walking to the entrance where there was an entry fee, this huge afrikaaner slammed into both of us! he was so drunk that he wasnt even running straight. (my dad tells me how he got away with drink driving as a teenager last time was to run in a straight line instead of walking) anyway, after he rammed us, he took off with an even bigger guy chasing & screaming at him.... VERY NICE WELCOME.
i was prepared for drunk people (seeing that the drinking started at 12noon..yes its crazy), but not this!! as we were recovering from the shock, a black guy got thrown backwards (he literally flew) onto the grass patch, and another guy was shouting at him.... i'm a little freaked at this point because i'm still outside the square & if its that bad OUTSIDE, i'm not sure if i want to know whats INSIDE... luckily for me though, for some reason, the security has stopped allowing people inside..so i go home amidst the chaos. i'm told that its such a huge event that people drive from joburg & further to join in! crazy world.
HOORAY FOR SPRING!
Wednesday, September 8
today was quite an awesome day. cant remember all of it now, but it was great! and tomorrow is spring day! (a majorrr university holiday here to celebrate spring) i will elaborate tomorrow, its quite a huge celebration here.i've got a really nice to-do list that i'm really looking forward to.
Things to do tomorrow:
1. internet cafe - get ladder :D (will update more on what i used it for IF IT HAPPENS!)
2. cycle to sunnyside - get cheap groceries
3. run at univ. lake
4. chill next to lake: reading & QT
5. church/worship service - i havent decided mid-week church or huge worship event (for christians who dont party & drink on Spring day)
6. watch beer pong - there's a 'team' competing & its going to be fun!
7. hatfield square - (will update more as well)
ahhhh. ok. highlights today:
- self-declared break after working so "hard" over the weekend for that international economics test (which i still messed up & will probably fail but, nevermind, i will just study harder for the other test)
- nice day of classes for socialwork and i got full marks for the class test (yay!)
- arranged with mary-lou to go to the apartheid museum in joburg this saturday (and then to her dad's restaurant again! its got awesome food, plus its free for us!)
- attended a chillaxed reception at the university's oldest building (>150yrs old!),
Also, i was told by Ms Moloi (one of the heads at the Int'l Stdts Division who's super pro-Singapore) that the Singapore High Commissioner was talking to her recently, and it turns out that his kids (around my age) are coming soon and he thinks it would be great if i could meet up with them (?? ok i really dont know what to think of this, but it would be cool maybe!) haha. so i have to call the embassy sometime soon or something. i have no idea how/what/where etc. (that was an interesting chat)
- packed my room!!! (IT IS NICE AND NEAT AND CLEAN NOW!)
- caught a movie with some others
- chilled in our tiny kitchen with the housemates for >2 hours just talking (: loved it!
- ANDANDAND!!! SPRING BREAK PLANS WERE SETTLED IN LESS THAN FIVE MINTUES! THANK YOU GOD! :D
ok this one needs details. hehe. so xinyu and i go to the guys house after the movie & we ask shane & thomas if they've made any plans for spring break. as it turns out, no they have not. i ask if they'd like to join us to slowly make our way up along the eastern coast, with no solid plans or anything. thomas says, ok! sounds interesting, do we drive? i nod, and he thinks a bit more & then he says what about doing that in zimbabwe? *BRIGHT LIGHT GOES OFF IN MY HEAD & BELLS START RINGING* YES!!!!!! haha. shane & leon suddenly get excited too, and xinyu nods really fast, BINGO! WE HAVE A PLAN! :D the cancelled Zimbabwe-Botswana weekend getaway just got extended to a 12-day Zimbabwe, Botswana & Zambia tour!
AWESOME OR AWESOME!?
we dont even take much time to decide car or bus because, as it turns out, thomas has an idea in mind of trying to buy a TRUCK (!!) that was advertised in a parking lot in hatfield! i will find out about that tomorrow because they will call & find out. but either way, THIS. IS. SO. SO. GREAT. Victoria falls, Kalahari desert, Okavango delta (only inland delta in the world) and etc.. ! for 12 days!
my goodness. i'm quite amazed at God's hand in this. the Zimb-Botsw 5-day trip got cancelled due to really weird reasons like someone's cash not being disbursed in time & another person's test being rescheduled, just too much of a coincidence!and i was feeling quite bummed about it even though it helped to know that God had a better plan somewhere.... i didnt know what, and i CERTAINLY DID NOT EXPECT THIS!! SERIOUSLY. the Zimbabwe weekend (ok, 5days) plan was a concession on my part because i wanted to take my time & not rush through the countries, now IT REALLY IS GOING TO BE OWN-TIME-OWN-TARGET travel! and i really wanted to do this over spring break, but settled for southafrica's coastal travel cuz no one seemed that interested in going far away,
and AND NOW IT IS ALL HAPPENING!! its just AMAZINGGGGG. :D hehe. i'm excited. plus, the company's gonna be fun too! & no tiptoeing around touchy egos that some of the girls here have.
ahhhhh. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH LORD!!! haha. when God blesses, wow, he really doesnt hold back.. i dont know how the trip will actually turn out & what will happen, because today was just talking, but today is enough of a reminder to me that God DOES have EVERYTHING planned. i'm excited to see what it is. and for some reason, this excitement isnt limited to my africa travels, but i feel really expectantly of what God will do at home, when i get home.
hahah, its so weird that i'm thinking about this, but i'm so excited about spring break! :D
but first, tomorrow.
and then saturday.
Things to do tomorrow:
1. internet cafe - get ladder :D (will update more on what i used it for IF IT HAPPENS!)
2. cycle to sunnyside - get cheap groceries
3. run at univ. lake
4. chill next to lake: reading & QT
5. church/worship service - i havent decided mid-week church or huge worship event (for christians who dont party & drink on Spring day)
6. watch beer pong - there's a 'team' competing & its going to be fun!
7. hatfield square - (will update more as well)
ahhhh. ok. highlights today:
- self-declared break after working so "hard" over the weekend for that international economics test (which i still messed up & will probably fail but, nevermind, i will just study harder for the other test)
- nice day of classes for socialwork and i got full marks for the class test (yay!)
- arranged with mary-lou to go to the apartheid museum in joburg this saturday (and then to her dad's restaurant again! its got awesome food, plus its free for us!)
- attended a chillaxed reception at the university's oldest building (>150yrs old!),
Also, i was told by Ms Moloi (one of the heads at the Int'l Stdts Division who's super pro-Singapore) that the Singapore High Commissioner was talking to her recently, and it turns out that his kids (around my age) are coming soon and he thinks it would be great if i could meet up with them (?? ok i really dont know what to think of this, but it would be cool maybe!) haha. so i have to call the embassy sometime soon or something. i have no idea how/what/where etc. (that was an interesting chat)
- packed my room!!! (IT IS NICE AND NEAT AND CLEAN NOW!)
- caught a movie with some others
- chilled in our tiny kitchen with the housemates for >2 hours just talking (: loved it!
- ANDANDAND!!! SPRING BREAK PLANS WERE SETTLED IN LESS THAN FIVE MINTUES! THANK YOU GOD! :D
ok this one needs details. hehe. so xinyu and i go to the guys house after the movie & we ask shane & thomas if they've made any plans for spring break. as it turns out, no they have not. i ask if they'd like to join us to slowly make our way up along the eastern coast, with no solid plans or anything. thomas says, ok! sounds interesting, do we drive? i nod, and he thinks a bit more & then he says what about doing that in zimbabwe? *BRIGHT LIGHT GOES OFF IN MY HEAD & BELLS START RINGING* YES!!!!!! haha. shane & leon suddenly get excited too, and xinyu nods really fast, BINGO! WE HAVE A PLAN! :D the cancelled Zimbabwe-Botswana weekend getaway just got extended to a 12-day Zimbabwe, Botswana & Zambia tour!
AWESOME OR AWESOME!?
we dont even take much time to decide car or bus because, as it turns out, thomas has an idea in mind of trying to buy a TRUCK (!!) that was advertised in a parking lot in hatfield! i will find out about that tomorrow because they will call & find out. but either way, THIS. IS. SO. SO. GREAT. Victoria falls, Kalahari desert, Okavango delta (only inland delta in the world) and etc.. ! for 12 days!
my goodness. i'm quite amazed at God's hand in this. the Zimb-Botsw 5-day trip got cancelled due to really weird reasons like someone's cash not being disbursed in time & another person's test being rescheduled, just too much of a coincidence!and i was feeling quite bummed about it even though it helped to know that God had a better plan somewhere.... i didnt know what, and i CERTAINLY DID NOT EXPECT THIS!! SERIOUSLY. the Zimbabwe weekend (ok, 5days) plan was a concession on my part because i wanted to take my time & not rush through the countries, now IT REALLY IS GOING TO BE OWN-TIME-OWN-TARGET travel! and i really wanted to do this over spring break, but settled for southafrica's coastal travel cuz no one seemed that interested in going far away,
and AND NOW IT IS ALL HAPPENING!! its just AMAZINGGGGG. :D hehe. i'm excited. plus, the company's gonna be fun too! & no tiptoeing around touchy egos that some of the girls here have.
ahhhhh. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH LORD!!! haha. when God blesses, wow, he really doesnt hold back.. i dont know how the trip will actually turn out & what will happen, because today was just talking, but today is enough of a reminder to me that God DOES have EVERYTHING planned. i'm excited to see what it is. and for some reason, this excitement isnt limited to my africa travels, but i feel really expectantly of what God will do at home, when i get home.
hahah, its so weird that i'm thinking about this, but i'm so excited about spring break! :D
but first, tomorrow.
and then saturday.
non-IEK780-related thoughts.
Monday, September 6
Freely You gave it all for us,
Surrendered Your life upon that cross
Great is Your love poured out for all,
This is our God.
so, procrastination comes with reading the bible because, for some warped reason, i figure that since i am wasting time, i might as well spend it on something better. not a very good reason to read the bible, but nonetheless a reason. currently taking my time to read a book called "A Life God Rewards" by Bruce Wilkinson..the hosts that the other Singaporean girl is staying with gave me a copy just the other day, and its been a blessing. its not a today vs. tomorrow issue anymore, but more of a tomorrow's circumstances given today's.i'm sure there's a mathematical way to represent this, maybe like.. Y(t+1)|I(t). Benefits of time period t+1 (i.e. tomorrow) given Investment today. ok, my brain is obviously NOT being used to study international, but anyway, i digress. HAHA.
being here, its been such a smooth journey that i believe God is using this experience to teach me what it means to walk with Him in good times.we all know what it is like to walk with Him in the bad times, because, like little children who've been naughty and burnt our fingers in the fire, we run crying to Him, seeking comfort and knowing that we will find sometimes a rebuke, but always a loving embrace. or else, it is also when we find that our knees give way and our hands know the extent of their incapabilities, that we continually seek His face, His guidance and His blessings on our works. because we also know that we have no choice but to trust in His provision & His plan.on the other hand, when things go fine and we think we're walking on our own 2 feet, when life doesnt present us with impossible situations, thats when it gets tough to discern what His will is. and honestly, its maybe because in our finite minds, "all is well".
i see such a huge difference in myself here just over these 3 months. its a very distinct pattern.before the outreach while in pretoria for a week, i spent so much time praying about things at home and things to come. on the outreach, we had daily devotions as a team. i also got up earlier for QT, knowing that all that i did would be useless if i wasnt right with God but also knowing that there would be a verse every morning to guide my steps in the outreach. and at night, the day's events only made sense when i brought them before God & asked Him to teach me. (plus, having a devotional book strategically situated on a stool next to the toiletbowl made for extra quiet time. heh) a few weeks after the outreach, i spent time with God looking for solace & trying to continue the learning curve in a different context. but just recently, i've noticed that i've started praying much lesser than i did before. not that i dont pray anymore, but just that my prayers seem more routine than expectant, more responsibility than desire. and its so different from before..i wonder if it is partly because everything is going well. i read the bible, and i'm even reading more books here than at home (there's more time here also) but i just find that the expectation of finding sustenance through the Word isnt there every single time.
it was last week's church service where ps jabu sang a song with lyrics that went something like, God is the God of the mountains and the valleys, the sun & the night, the laughter & tears. (and it was phrased a lot better, but i cant remember it for the life of me!) so i'm wondering now, what is it like to follow God in the good times? to watch where He leads, to be alert to the subtle changes in schedule that i am to take, and to grab the small opportunities i will have to bring glory to Him. i want to, and i will find out. its not by chance that such a pattern has emerged, and if i cannot learn to spontaneously take time out of my relaxed schedule to speak to someone in the street, then its going to be impossible for me to do anything once i'm back home.
God is a good God and there's so many blessings very single day that i see & i feel so grateful for, but it also accentuates the feeling that i'm not doing enough for Him, that there is a lot more i can do than i am doing. this is a new road i'm walking.. life has never flowed so smoothly before and i think there's going to be a big lesson in this. cant wait to find out (: but first, let me figure out international economics, get through the crazy 95-page South African trade policy and write my own. i have 17 hours to clear 50% of my entire grade (and i havent done anything!) eeeks. its laughable at the state i'm in, except that i really need to PASS.
i have biltong and some green apples for snacks tonight. South Africa is good (: except for the rubbish that i get myself into. ohwell, delayed gratification! when i get home, i will have a sem where i can take 1 module less!
hello terms-of-trade and welfare.
Surrendered Your life upon that cross
Great is Your love poured out for all,
This is our God.
so, procrastination comes with reading the bible because, for some warped reason, i figure that since i am wasting time, i might as well spend it on something better. not a very good reason to read the bible, but nonetheless a reason. currently taking my time to read a book called "A Life God Rewards" by Bruce Wilkinson..the hosts that the other Singaporean girl is staying with gave me a copy just the other day, and its been a blessing. its not a today vs. tomorrow issue anymore, but more of a tomorrow's circumstances given today's.i'm sure there's a mathematical way to represent this, maybe like.. Y(t+1)|I(t). Benefits of time period t+1 (i.e. tomorrow) given Investment today. ok, my brain is obviously NOT being used to study international, but anyway, i digress. HAHA.
being here, its been such a smooth journey that i believe God is using this experience to teach me what it means to walk with Him in good times.we all know what it is like to walk with Him in the bad times, because, like little children who've been naughty and burnt our fingers in the fire, we run crying to Him, seeking comfort and knowing that we will find sometimes a rebuke, but always a loving embrace. or else, it is also when we find that our knees give way and our hands know the extent of their incapabilities, that we continually seek His face, His guidance and His blessings on our works. because we also know that we have no choice but to trust in His provision & His plan.on the other hand, when things go fine and we think we're walking on our own 2 feet, when life doesnt present us with impossible situations, thats when it gets tough to discern what His will is. and honestly, its maybe because in our finite minds, "all is well".
i see such a huge difference in myself here just over these 3 months. its a very distinct pattern.before the outreach while in pretoria for a week, i spent so much time praying about things at home and things to come. on the outreach, we had daily devotions as a team. i also got up earlier for QT, knowing that all that i did would be useless if i wasnt right with God but also knowing that there would be a verse every morning to guide my steps in the outreach. and at night, the day's events only made sense when i brought them before God & asked Him to teach me. (plus, having a devotional book strategically situated on a stool next to the toiletbowl made for extra quiet time. heh) a few weeks after the outreach, i spent time with God looking for solace & trying to continue the learning curve in a different context. but just recently, i've noticed that i've started praying much lesser than i did before. not that i dont pray anymore, but just that my prayers seem more routine than expectant, more responsibility than desire. and its so different from before..i wonder if it is partly because everything is going well. i read the bible, and i'm even reading more books here than at home (there's more time here also) but i just find that the expectation of finding sustenance through the Word isnt there every single time.
it was last week's church service where ps jabu sang a song with lyrics that went something like, God is the God of the mountains and the valleys, the sun & the night, the laughter & tears. (and it was phrased a lot better, but i cant remember it for the life of me!) so i'm wondering now, what is it like to follow God in the good times? to watch where He leads, to be alert to the subtle changes in schedule that i am to take, and to grab the small opportunities i will have to bring glory to Him. i want to, and i will find out. its not by chance that such a pattern has emerged, and if i cannot learn to spontaneously take time out of my relaxed schedule to speak to someone in the street, then its going to be impossible for me to do anything once i'm back home.
God is a good God and there's so many blessings very single day that i see & i feel so grateful for, but it also accentuates the feeling that i'm not doing enough for Him, that there is a lot more i can do than i am doing. this is a new road i'm walking.. life has never flowed so smoothly before and i think there's going to be a big lesson in this. cant wait to find out (: but first, let me figure out international economics, get through the crazy 95-page South African trade policy and write my own. i have 17 hours to clear 50% of my entire grade (and i havent done anything!) eeeks. its laughable at the state i'm in, except that i really need to PASS.
i have biltong and some green apples for snacks tonight. South Africa is good (: except for the rubbish that i get myself into. ohwell, delayed gratification! when i get home, i will have a sem where i can take 1 module less!hello terms-of-trade and welfare.
grrr. but..
Sunday, September 5
boring, bummer of a week.
the zimbabwe plan flew out the window because people backed out.
well, things like this happen all the time & i'm in africa... SO. plan B (:
but anyway, i entrusted this plan to God, so its not working according to my plan,
but its still in God's plans. i wonder what.
and now, i am blogging again because i have a ton of stuff to study! & an assignment to write that comes with thickthickthick documents to read & analyse. MAJOR BOO.. the sun was shining so nicely today as well & i was stuck in the house trying to study. i've never liked the sun as much at home, but here, I LOVE IT. i spend a lot of time in school reading (and eventually napping) while lying on the grass under the sun. its awesome. and when i get the chance to, i cycle to the lake, lie on the grass & read. note to self: find a quiet lake in Singapore (if possible)
life here has been pretty nice. i could really really live here.. at least while i'm studying. there's so much to do outside of school!ministry opportunities abound, a lovely nature reserve (one of many) within cycling distance, nice dinners costing only 10bucks and road trips to look forward to. until they get cancelled, like zimbabwe! speaking of road trips. its been 1.5 months here in school, and i still havent done a weekend away!!!! (joburg is not counted, thats like going to johor) on a brighter note, spring break is in 2 weeks, and it lasts for 12 days. WOOHOO. plans in the works are either going up the eastern coast of south africa, throwing in Lesotho & Swaziland. or, if i can find 2 more people, going up to zimbabwe, through zambia and back down from botswana. the latter is an option that will get done either sooner or later, but it will SO get done.
people were talking about homesickness today. and it struck me that we are LIVING here. we are building relationships, developing bonds, moulding & being moulded. buying groceries, checking budgets, finding our way around, making certain routes our own, recognising & slowly befriending the familiar faces, adapting to life as it is lived here. when i leave, i'll know where to shop, what brand of bread i like, how to get to my favorite coffeeshop, how much meat to bring to a Bring-your-own-meat-braai, and so much more!
names of places and roads will no longer be a strange-sounding word on my tongue, but they'll carry with them, memories & recollections of sights, sounds and smells. these months here will always remain a part of our lives where we were absent from the happenings at home, where friends & family lived lives without our participation, where, for a moment in eternity, we are South African students in the city of Pretoria.
this must be what it feels like to be a missionary overseas, although that would be waaay better!
this city really grows on you. i've stayed a month-half in taipei, 2 months on a ship and (as of now) 3 months here. and its a little bit like how the ship became "home", except, that "home" was a lot bigger & moved a lot more. i really hate to imagine how it would be when the time comes for me to leave. because, far off as it seems now, it will come way too soon. once i get back from spring break, its a month of classes, then exams, and my second (and last) travelling segment.
eish. i better get back to studying. lekker (good) slaap (sleep) not happening tonight neh.
the zimbabwe plan flew out the window because people backed out.
well, things like this happen all the time & i'm in africa... SO. plan B (:
but anyway, i entrusted this plan to God, so its not working according to my plan,
but its still in God's plans. i wonder what.
and now, i am blogging again because i have a ton of stuff to study! & an assignment to write that comes with thickthickthick documents to read & analyse. MAJOR BOO.. the sun was shining so nicely today as well & i was stuck in the house trying to study. i've never liked the sun as much at home, but here, I LOVE IT. i spend a lot of time in school reading (and eventually napping) while lying on the grass under the sun. its awesome. and when i get the chance to, i cycle to the lake, lie on the grass & read. note to self: find a quiet lake in Singapore (if possible)
life here has been pretty nice. i could really really live here.. at least while i'm studying. there's so much to do outside of school!ministry opportunities abound, a lovely nature reserve (one of many) within cycling distance, nice dinners costing only 10bucks and road trips to look forward to. until they get cancelled, like zimbabwe! speaking of road trips. its been 1.5 months here in school, and i still havent done a weekend away!!!! (joburg is not counted, thats like going to johor) on a brighter note, spring break is in 2 weeks, and it lasts for 12 days. WOOHOO. plans in the works are either going up the eastern coast of south africa, throwing in Lesotho & Swaziland. or, if i can find 2 more people, going up to zimbabwe, through zambia and back down from botswana. the latter is an option that will get done either sooner or later, but it will SO get done.
people were talking about homesickness today. and it struck me that we are LIVING here. we are building relationships, developing bonds, moulding & being moulded. buying groceries, checking budgets, finding our way around, making certain routes our own, recognising & slowly befriending the familiar faces, adapting to life as it is lived here. when i leave, i'll know where to shop, what brand of bread i like, how to get to my favorite coffeeshop, how much meat to bring to a Bring-your-own-meat-braai, and so much more!
names of places and roads will no longer be a strange-sounding word on my tongue, but they'll carry with them, memories & recollections of sights, sounds and smells. these months here will always remain a part of our lives where we were absent from the happenings at home, where friends & family lived lives without our participation, where, for a moment in eternity, we are South African students in the city of Pretoria.
this must be what it feels like to be a missionary overseas, although that would be waaay better!
this city really grows on you. i've stayed a month-half in taipei, 2 months on a ship and (as of now) 3 months here. and its a little bit like how the ship became "home", except, that "home" was a lot bigger & moved a lot more. i really hate to imagine how it would be when the time comes for me to leave. because, far off as it seems now, it will come way too soon. once i get back from spring break, its a month of classes, then exams, and my second (and last) travelling segment.
