today was another eventful day.
let me just recap the week.
thursday i get home at 1am, friday started with a goodbye brunch, cooked my share of thanksgiving dinner, had thanksgiving with greatergrace (plus 2 exch stdts), and tried to pack. saturday lunch with lebo and went to the airport with france, came back made plans for the next day and wrote letters & emo-ed until 5-freaking-am. sunday braai-ed & chilled at ps jabu's, saw an awesome thunderstorm and then went to church for my last service in greatergrace. dinner and then went out with isa and jamie. oh, and i packed (or rather, attempted to).
today, dad woke me up at 7am. paranoid as he is. waited until 10am for room inspection & got told off just because i delayed my departure by 1 day. pfft. found our way to the car rental after walking 3km in the freaking hot sun. and then eventually found our way to the lion & rhino reserve. it was nice. & i was so glad for the company with jamie. saw african-animals again, went to play with lion cubs (big ones!).. then i got my slipper half-eaten. and got my fingers stuck in the mouth of a lion cub twice the size of hector. that was a wee bit too much adrenaline. but my day didnt end there. then it was scrambling for ingredients to cook bak kut teh to bring to joh-ann's house for dinner, which was just so nice & a huge blessing.
& now, i need to pack. and i really dont want to. it just means i'm leaving.
but, just like how inevitable things have a way of smacking you in the face even though you've been mentally prepared, it sucks. ):
goodbye greater grace.
Monday, November 29
today was my last time in church here.
it was horrible.
i know i'm going to see them again in heaven,
but its just not the same.
i teared up a few times in the service, during the sermon when my attention drifted a little and i thought of how i wouldnt get to attend church here again, and during the very impromptu song-singing where we sing such sincerely joyous songs like, deep, way down, deep, way down, deep down in my hea-ahh-art!...
bear with me while i re-enter bbtc and yc. i am going to try my best and accept this church as it is, but already, i am wishing that someone at home will understand what i mean when i talk about this church. seeing that i get back home before school starts and it being 1 month of travelling, church is going to be the first adjustment that i have to make. i miss greater grace already. )': God, some grace here please.
it was a nice weekend with the church, however. we had thanksgiving dinner on friday, i met lebo on saturday, ps manny's farewell braai this afternn, and church service at night. i love this church, i love the truth they preach, i love the fellowship and the sincerity, and i love loving God with these people.
its easier not to think about it. and it helps that i am distancing my last church service from my last days in South Africa. i think. i really really miss this.
i'm back & i'm gone.
Sunday, November 28
its been a hectic few days. and i will try my veryveryverrrry best to finish the post on my Nelspruit trip soon!
in a few sentences:
God provided every single thing i needed, and more.
It was only 4 days in that B&B, but they treated me like family.
I wish I'd depend on God in daily life just the way i depended on Him in the last week.
I encountered the outdoors in every single way imaginable. (including a late-night scare with a palm-sized moth.)
i'll update the entire story soon! its still in a draft!
but anyway. i cant believe i'm leaving tuksdorp (uni residence) already. ): its sad. housemates are leaving. and the other non-communal-friendly one (lets call her x) is getting more intolerable by the day! dishes, cigarette smoke, ex-fiance living in our house (!), them having late-night bedroom activities..... she's making it easier for me to leave, in a way. sheeesh.
its down to packing. and writing letters of thanks. and saying my goodbyes to most people. i am so so so gonna miss the church here. driving to the airport today with france to pick up my dad&brother was so surreal. less than 30days left here. and only a precious few in pretoria.
i need to stop putting off writing these notes though. i suspect its the escapist in me rearing its ugly head. when i start writing, that means i'm acknowledging that i'm leaving. blah. its 3am. and i have very many to write. eeiiiiissshhhh!
in a few sentences:
God provided every single thing i needed, and more.
It was only 4 days in that B&B, but they treated me like family.
I wish I'd depend on God in daily life just the way i depended on Him in the last week.
I encountered the outdoors in every single way imaginable. (including a late-night scare with a palm-sized moth.)
i'll update the entire story soon! its still in a draft!
but anyway. i cant believe i'm leaving tuksdorp (uni residence) already. ): its sad. housemates are leaving. and the other non-communal-friendly one (lets call her x) is getting more intolerable by the day! dishes, cigarette smoke, ex-fiance living in our house (!), them having late-night bedroom activities..... she's making it easier for me to leave, in a way. sheeesh.
its down to packing. and writing letters of thanks. and saying my goodbyes to most people. i am so so so gonna miss the church here. driving to the airport today with france to pick up my dad&brother was so surreal. less than 30days left here. and only a precious few in pretoria.
i need to stop putting off writing these notes though. i suspect its the escapist in me rearing its ugly head. when i start writing, that means i'm acknowledging that i'm leaving. blah. its 3am. and i have very many to write. eeiiiiissshhhh!
story of my life
Sunday, November 21
so.. these days, i seem to be courting a lot of nonsense my way.
1. i overslept, and woke up at 11. making it a bit too late to head north to polokwane. and so, spent another (quite a nice) day in tuksdorp chilling in the guys house.
2. i conclude that grasscutters in africa are rather smart. first, they cut non-existent grass on paved walkways, second, they make sure they cut grass early on saturday mornings (this is africa, NO ONE WORKS on the weekends!), third, they spend 1 full hour cutting the BARE grass outside my window. (its less than an inch tall seriously). i say they're smart because, if the cutter is on, it makes a heck lot of noise, and mr&mrs smith (yes,they're really smith-s) will think he's hard at work, and secondly, if he irritates the right people enough, they'll pay him to GO AWAY. i was very very tempted to shove a R20 note at him & tell him to go away this morning... but i didnt.
and a lot more random stuff today, like talking to hector over skype. HAH. stupid dog. but he's smart in the sense that he knows my brother is up to something (i.e. dropping him off at xin's). i think he knows cuz my brother says he's been a very moody dog for the past few days. which.. is quite amusing & sad for him. no more doggy neighbours, no more owners. but now, he'll have socks to play with & people to spam him with attention.
africa is, quite honestly speaking, starting to get on my nerves. not all of it for sure. but its an indicator that i've been here long enough. its the people, the work ethic, and more people. some people just leave a very bad aftertaste when you meet them.. and while its true that these people are everywhere. it seems to me that in Gauteng (i'm told its only in this region), the number of strangers who leave this bitter taste has been quite high. from the directness of street beggars who really dont want a change in lifestyle but who'd rather pester passerbys, to the directness of acquaintances who unashamedly think that, because you're nice to them, you're a cash cow.
i'm not really concerned about money. i've been blessed with sufficiency and i see it as something that you use. but when such acquaintances try to derive every sort of benefit they can from you, its frustrating, and annoying. and, from my experience here, something not uncommon amongst the black males here. there are some awesome people that i've met here. they're male and they're african. and they're just so nice that you cannot not love them. but then, at the risk of stereotyping everyone, there is the former category as well.
honestly, i dont know how this is impacting my outlook and thinking in general, and even how i should be reacting to them because God says to love the unlovable. (something to think about over my getaway) but for now, they leave a very bad aftertaste. maybe its a city-atmosphere, maybe its the african-culture, or maybe its just these individuals that i meet.
but. anyhow. i am going to attempt to get to nelspruit tomorrow. when i say attempt, its because it is dependent on 1. me waking up early enough to catch a bus/taxi. 2. the AVAILABILITY of taxis/buses because its a sunday. 3. the routes that the taxis have, i.e. no taxi to durban/pietermaritzburg, so ? taxi to nelspruit? haha. but well, its an adventure nonetheless. i could always just come back to tuksdorp and try again on monday. my housemate's expression was quite priceless when i saw her at 3pm today after she just woke up from her nap. and she says i confuse her. but, i confuse myself too.. so... (:
nelspruit/polokwane/pietermaritzburg, here i come!
either tomorrow or monday...
1. i overslept, and woke up at 11. making it a bit too late to head north to polokwane. and so, spent another (quite a nice) day in tuksdorp chilling in the guys house.
2. i conclude that grasscutters in africa are rather smart. first, they cut non-existent grass on paved walkways, second, they make sure they cut grass early on saturday mornings (this is africa, NO ONE WORKS on the weekends!), third, they spend 1 full hour cutting the BARE grass outside my window. (its less than an inch tall seriously). i say they're smart because, if the cutter is on, it makes a heck lot of noise, and mr&mrs smith (yes,they're really smith-s) will think he's hard at work, and secondly, if he irritates the right people enough, they'll pay him to GO AWAY. i was very very tempted to shove a R20 note at him & tell him to go away this morning... but i didnt.
and a lot more random stuff today, like talking to hector over skype. HAH. stupid dog. but he's smart in the sense that he knows my brother is up to something (i.e. dropping him off at xin's). i think he knows cuz my brother says he's been a very moody dog for the past few days. which.. is quite amusing & sad for him. no more doggy neighbours, no more owners. but now, he'll have socks to play with & people to spam him with attention.
africa is, quite honestly speaking, starting to get on my nerves. not all of it for sure. but its an indicator that i've been here long enough. its the people, the work ethic, and more people. some people just leave a very bad aftertaste when you meet them.. and while its true that these people are everywhere. it seems to me that in Gauteng (i'm told its only in this region), the number of strangers who leave this bitter taste has been quite high. from the directness of street beggars who really dont want a change in lifestyle but who'd rather pester passerbys, to the directness of acquaintances who unashamedly think that, because you're nice to them, you're a cash cow.
i'm not really concerned about money. i've been blessed with sufficiency and i see it as something that you use. but when such acquaintances try to derive every sort of benefit they can from you, its frustrating, and annoying. and, from my experience here, something not uncommon amongst the black males here. there are some awesome people that i've met here. they're male and they're african. and they're just so nice that you cannot not love them. but then, at the risk of stereotyping everyone, there is the former category as well.
honestly, i dont know how this is impacting my outlook and thinking in general, and even how i should be reacting to them because God says to love the unlovable. (something to think about over my getaway) but for now, they leave a very bad aftertaste. maybe its a city-atmosphere, maybe its the african-culture, or maybe its just these individuals that i meet.
but. anyhow. i am going to attempt to get to nelspruit tomorrow. when i say attempt, its because it is dependent on 1. me waking up early enough to catch a bus/taxi. 2. the AVAILABILITY of taxis/buses because its a sunday. 3. the routes that the taxis have, i.e. no taxi to durban/pietermaritzburg, so ? taxi to nelspruit? haha. but well, its an adventure nonetheless. i could always just come back to tuksdorp and try again on monday. my housemate's expression was quite priceless when i saw her at 3pm today after she just woke up from her nap. and she says i confuse her. but, i confuse myself too.. so... (:
nelspruit/polokwane/pietermaritzburg, here i come!
either tomorrow or monday...
yayy!
Saturday, November 20
NOT DONE PACKING MY BIG LUGGAGE!!!
but i guess, on the eve of my solo trip, sleep is more important right?
pft. its 4am. i havent done so many things. i feel like bringing my laptop with!
but that defeats the whole purpose of a GET-AWAY.
so.. i wont. but i am bringing 3 cameras. 4 if you count my phone.
haha. awesomeness.
will update twitter regularly! username: hueythatsme
but at the amt of packing/planning i have left, i think i'll come back a day early.
durban wont happen i think.
so, tomorrow, i will decide, at the taxi station, if its nelspruit or polokwane.
(:
goodnight world!
its now or never!
but i guess, on the eve of my solo trip, sleep is more important right?
pft. its 4am. i havent done so many things. i feel like bringing my laptop with!
but that defeats the whole purpose of a GET-AWAY.
so.. i wont. but i am bringing 3 cameras. 4 if you count my phone.
haha. awesomeness.
will update twitter regularly! username: hueythatsme
but at the amt of packing/planning i have left, i think i'll come back a day early.
durban wont happen i think.
so, tomorrow, i will decide, at the taxi station, if its nelspruit or polokwane.
(:
goodnight world!
its now or never!
time and taxis
Friday, November 19
today, (at 3am), is the 19th November. if things had gone as planned, i would have been on my way to Harare (Zimbabwe), the first of many destinations in a Southern Africa solo expedition, with the aim of seeing, exploring, and ultimately, learning. about people, about myself and eventually, about God. but then, today would also have marked the start of my 1 month countdown in south africa. as it is, i have 40days left here.
already, some people are going home. one of them has been excited to leave since the 2nd week she arrived (or so i've heard) and the other was so depressed that she cried while packing. i dont think i fall into either category, but i will miss this place. a. lot. either way, home awaits. with friends, responsibilities and, life in general.
wednesday was the start of the 3rd phase of SA2010 - the end of school, and the start of my adventures. & it started pretty well. i aced my oral examination on Church and Israel (after only 1 entire night of cramming - the Singapore system does come in handy), bumped into Ps M & Molly and O'brien on my way back and ended up spending a very nice afternoon talking. As we left, i headed to the bus station some distance away to do a little bit of recce-ing for my mini trip. i dont know how long it took for me to get there and find out what i needed to (time isnt really an issue here), but the interesting part started when i tried to find my way back home. heh. technically, i wasnt lost. i just didnt know how to get home. and i was quite far on the other side of Pretoria from where home is. so... scenario: lone asian girl in downtown African city with a disconcerting lack of afrikaaners (whites). problem: getting home. see, i couldnt just cross the street & take a taxi back the way i came because, it was a one-way street that kind of turned back into town, plus, taxis that go one way, dont necessarily follow the same route BACK.....
ok back to the events that followed. i decided i had time, so i started walking around the streets, soaking in the atmosphere. after buying a random apple, some nectarines and 2 peaches from 3 street vendors who didnt know where i could reboard a taxi towards hatfield (home), i decided to stop wandering and GET. HOME. boarded the next taxi i saw, and asked for hatfield. driver shakes head. sunnyside? yes, nods head. *or so i thought. i get in with another 2 ladies, we're getting the fare together, and then driver shakes his head and drops us all off at a sort of taxi-transfer point. he tells us to go into the front taxi. i get in, and after 15min of waiting for it to fill up (taxis mostly only leave once they're full), i decide to ask a fellow passenger. and he tells me this taxi is going to marabastad! (some distance OUT of TOWN). wrong taxi. i get off, and walk down a little. then i see a lady taxi driver & ask her, how to get to hatfield. she says, just wait a minute, another taxi will come along & i can get in. but she also says, sweetie, come sit inside while you wait. so, yes, of course, why not, the sun is burning outside. and the 1 minute becomes 10, 10min eventually lasts 1.5 hours as her taxi fills up. i ask her if the taxi is coming, she says, yes she'll take me to where i can catch a direct one home. eventually, she drops me off at another(!) taxi-transfer area, this time, in a section of town that i recognise as somewhere the brazilian guys & i were told to turn around and go back. (not the safest place really). but she tells one of the guys she apparently knows my problem, drops me off and says, he'll take care of u.. he gave me directions to get to church square nearby. i wasnt afraid, but my defenses were up and i think he could see it.. so he said, eish, i walk you. very near! i asked if i had to pay, and he didnt answer (next time, i know better) but well, he did walk me, and i did feel safe having a guide through this part of town. eventually when he got me into the right taxi, i was going to give him a R5 tip. but guess what? he said R30! like.. WHAT? R30 for YOU offering to walk <200m with me?? ... seriously. but, anyway, he was very persistent & i didnt want to start a scene there, so heck, R30. there u go. and then, nevermind, he asked R30 and a drink!! i told him, no i dont have a drink. he says, yes, R8 to buy a drink.. NO! i show him i only have coins left to pay my fare, and he sees me count R9 fare out and i have R1.50 coins left & he takes all of it.....
one thing about africans is that, THEY ARE NOT SHY. (this is just one incident).
well, anyway, we're waiting for this taxi to fill up again, and the girl next to me asks if my impromptu guide helped me to carry anything. i tell her what happened and she just shakes her head, says i'm a lakoha ("white" person) and laughs. then she explains its common that these self-employed street-guys dont rob u illegally, they do daylight robbery.haha! i was so amused by the way she put it. eventually, we talked about other things & by the time i got dropped off outside my house, i had a new friend from Tshwane University of Technology (TUT). haha. eggciting day eh!
took a nap when i got home, just because i could. and then got a lift from mary-lou to church. took some photos and came home to sleep off the adrenaline+latenights. its gonna be hard to match up to the standard set by wednesday happenings.
but today (thursday), i cooked an awesome singapore dinner for the housemates (+1 and -1) and then had a nice night out. i wonder what today (friday) brings. day 40. i need to remember to pay my housing bill though. and hopefully, by saturday, i get on my way to polokwane in limpopo! preferably no adventures, just a very uneventful getaway, i hope. heh. ok, its late. time to enjoy sleeping in cold weather (its like winter all over again!!! crazy weather. it was insanely hot just 2 days ago!)
already, some people are going home. one of them has been excited to leave since the 2nd week she arrived (or so i've heard) and the other was so depressed that she cried while packing. i dont think i fall into either category, but i will miss this place. a. lot. either way, home awaits. with friends, responsibilities and, life in general.
wednesday was the start of the 3rd phase of SA2010 - the end of school, and the start of my adventures. & it started pretty well. i aced my oral examination on Church and Israel (after only 1 entire night of cramming - the Singapore system does come in handy), bumped into Ps M & Molly and O'brien on my way back and ended up spending a very nice afternoon talking. As we left, i headed to the bus station some distance away to do a little bit of recce-ing for my mini trip. i dont know how long it took for me to get there and find out what i needed to (time isnt really an issue here), but the interesting part started when i tried to find my way back home. heh. technically, i wasnt lost. i just didnt know how to get home. and i was quite far on the other side of Pretoria from where home is. so... scenario: lone asian girl in downtown African city with a disconcerting lack of afrikaaners (whites). problem: getting home. see, i couldnt just cross the street & take a taxi back the way i came because, it was a one-way street that kind of turned back into town, plus, taxis that go one way, dont necessarily follow the same route BACK.....
ok back to the events that followed. i decided i had time, so i started walking around the streets, soaking in the atmosphere. after buying a random apple, some nectarines and 2 peaches from 3 street vendors who didnt know where i could reboard a taxi towards hatfield (home), i decided to stop wandering and GET. HOME. boarded the next taxi i saw, and asked for hatfield. driver shakes head. sunnyside? yes, nods head. *or so i thought. i get in with another 2 ladies, we're getting the fare together, and then driver shakes his head and drops us all off at a sort of taxi-transfer point. he tells us to go into the front taxi. i get in, and after 15min of waiting for it to fill up (taxis mostly only leave once they're full), i decide to ask a fellow passenger. and he tells me this taxi is going to marabastad! (some distance OUT of TOWN). wrong taxi. i get off, and walk down a little. then i see a lady taxi driver & ask her, how to get to hatfield. she says, just wait a minute, another taxi will come along & i can get in. but she also says, sweetie, come sit inside while you wait. so, yes, of course, why not, the sun is burning outside. and the 1 minute becomes 10, 10min eventually lasts 1.5 hours as her taxi fills up. i ask her if the taxi is coming, she says, yes she'll take me to where i can catch a direct one home. eventually, she drops me off at another(!) taxi-transfer area, this time, in a section of town that i recognise as somewhere the brazilian guys & i were told to turn around and go back. (not the safest place really). but she tells one of the guys she apparently knows my problem, drops me off and says, he'll take care of u.. he gave me directions to get to church square nearby. i wasnt afraid, but my defenses were up and i think he could see it.. so he said, eish, i walk you. very near! i asked if i had to pay, and he didnt answer (next time, i know better) but well, he did walk me, and i did feel safe having a guide through this part of town. eventually when he got me into the right taxi, i was going to give him a R5 tip. but guess what? he said R30! like.. WHAT? R30 for YOU offering to walk <200m with me?? ... seriously. but, anyway, he was very persistent & i didnt want to start a scene there, so heck, R30. there u go. and then, nevermind, he asked R30 and a drink!! i told him, no i dont have a drink. he says, yes, R8 to buy a drink.. NO! i show him i only have coins left to pay my fare, and he sees me count R9 fare out and i have R1.50 coins left & he takes all of it.....
one thing about africans is that, THEY ARE NOT SHY. (this is just one incident).
well, anyway, we're waiting for this taxi to fill up again, and the girl next to me asks if my impromptu guide helped me to carry anything. i tell her what happened and she just shakes her head, says i'm a lakoha ("white" person) and laughs. then she explains its common that these self-employed street-guys dont rob u illegally, they do daylight robbery.haha! i was so amused by the way she put it. eventually, we talked about other things & by the time i got dropped off outside my house, i had a new friend from Tshwane University of Technology (TUT). haha. eggciting day eh!
took a nap when i got home, just because i could. and then got a lift from mary-lou to church. took some photos and came home to sleep off the adrenaline+latenights. its gonna be hard to match up to the standard set by wednesday happenings.
but today (thursday), i cooked an awesome singapore dinner for the housemates (+1 and -1) and then had a nice night out. i wonder what today (friday) brings. day 40. i need to remember to pay my housing bill though. and hopefully, by saturday, i get on my way to polokwane in limpopo! preferably no adventures, just a very uneventful getaway, i hope. heh. ok, its late. time to enjoy sleeping in cold weather (its like winter all over again!!! crazy weather. it was insanely hot just 2 days ago!)
almost there!!!
Tuesday, November 16
just oneeee more. just ONE more exam to.... ok. let me just keep the train of thought at one more exam. although i really dont know how the module credit counting thing will work out. because it is sooo messed up (mostly my fault, should have pushed really hard to take socialwork 320 instead of 220.). but anyway, its a bit too late, and i'll just see how it goes. its not as if it is a potential-life-changing situation.
other updates, i. am. so. gonna. miss. this. place! blah. 6 weeks left. <1week in pretoria.
the purple jacaranda flowers have gone, and the trees are green again. on one hand, it looks normal and doesnt look so other-worldly anymore, on the other, the purple made it look like dreamland which was quite awesome. (: so, just like everything good and bad, time passes.
[eish, i sound so... mellow!] but its likely that this partly due to the lack of stress here. heh. what can i say, its a good life now.
other updates, i. am. so. gonna. miss. this. place! blah. 6 weeks left. <1week in pretoria.
the purple jacaranda flowers have gone, and the trees are green again. on one hand, it looks normal and doesnt look so other-worldly anymore, on the other, the purple made it look like dreamland which was quite awesome. (: so, just like everything good and bad, time passes.
[eish, i sound so... mellow!] but its likely that this partly due to the lack of stress here. heh. what can i say, its a good life now.
welldone, me, welldone.
Friday, November 12
i have this uncanny ability to put myself in fixes. its like a superpower that i dont want to have.
today, i sat for monetary economics. which, given the amount of studying i did in preparation for this paper, i should have aced. it wasnt a difficult paper. in fact, it was easy. questions were direct derivations from the notes. and in one of the very few occasions in my life of economics, i actually understood all the long picture-like formulas. i really did. and whilst studying for this, i felt accomplished.
but, you see, brains do not behave sometimes. out of the 3 40-mark questions, i screwed up 2. the first one, i totally forgot how to derive, mathematically, the formula for variance. this happened in step 3. and because, its a math rule, there's just no way to crap an answer out. the second question, i had all the factors understood and organised, but somehow, when i wrote my answer, i had to add arrows all over the page. left, right, center. seriously. the essay looked more like a graph.
the one time that the paper affords me the chance to feel hardworking & accomplished, i end up feeling like a dumbass. a really dumb dumbass...... i hope i at least get a 50%.
event number 2. complacency kills. one component of the freshman module in social work is group work practice. i took an entire semester of this course in NUS just last semester, and despite the nightmares that the module posed, managed to get the elusive A. (point is, i studied like a dog for that module, not that i got an A). but well, i would say because of my overconfidence in the "oh-i've-done-this-before-reviewing-it-should-be-easy" feeling, i am now quite screwed. just read through the 5x 1hr lectures worth of notes, and i realised i have a whole ton of work to do tonight.
very very very good. pride, in any form, is never good. i obviously took a bit too much pride in all that hard work... i am paying the price tonight. yay me. but it sounds like a better title, "the price of pride"... yes? hahaha. ohwell. better to learn the lesson here than back home. i hope i pass tomorrow.
oh. and another thing of my making, my dad and brothers' SA excursion = 31 days.
as opposed to 15 days. welldone, really.
other than all this nonsense that i get myself into, it was a good day. the housemates are a fun & entertaining bunch. (including the unofficial guy housemate and excluding the noncommunalfriendly one). and shep makes the bestestbest cappucino ever. (: i'd say it even beats starbucks awesome toffeenutlattes.
ok, rant's over. unfiltered because my brain is in shutdownblogger&startmugging mode. heh.
today, i sat for monetary economics. which, given the amount of studying i did in preparation for this paper, i should have aced. it wasnt a difficult paper. in fact, it was easy. questions were direct derivations from the notes. and in one of the very few occasions in my life of economics, i actually understood all the long picture-like formulas. i really did. and whilst studying for this, i felt accomplished.
but, you see, brains do not behave sometimes. out of the 3 40-mark questions, i screwed up 2. the first one, i totally forgot how to derive, mathematically, the formula for variance. this happened in step 3. and because, its a math rule, there's just no way to crap an answer out. the second question, i had all the factors understood and organised, but somehow, when i wrote my answer, i had to add arrows all over the page. left, right, center. seriously. the essay looked more like a graph.
the one time that the paper affords me the chance to feel hardworking & accomplished, i end up feeling like a dumbass. a really dumb dumbass...... i hope i at least get a 50%.
event number 2. complacency kills. one component of the freshman module in social work is group work practice. i took an entire semester of this course in NUS just last semester, and despite the nightmares that the module posed, managed to get the elusive A. (point is, i studied like a dog for that module, not that i got an A). but well, i would say because of my overconfidence in the "oh-i've-done-this-before-reviewing-it-should-be-easy" feeling, i am now quite screwed. just read through the 5x 1hr lectures worth of notes, and i realised i have a whole ton of work to do tonight.
very very very good. pride, in any form, is never good. i obviously took a bit too much pride in all that hard work... i am paying the price tonight. yay me. but it sounds like a better title, "the price of pride"... yes? hahaha. ohwell. better to learn the lesson here than back home. i hope i pass tomorrow.
oh. and another thing of my making, my dad and brothers' SA excursion = 31 days.
as opposed to 15 days. welldone, really.
other than all this nonsense that i get myself into, it was a good day. the housemates are a fun & entertaining bunch. (including the unofficial guy housemate and excluding the noncommunalfriendly one). and shep makes the bestestbest cappucino ever. (: i'd say it even beats starbucks awesome toffeenutlattes.
ok, rant's over. unfiltered because my brain is in shutdownblogger&startmugging mode. heh.
Wednesday, November 10
today is defined as sucky. - if there is even such a word.
ohwell. i give up trying to make all these things work. whatever happens will happen. God's in control of whatever the month turns out to be. bleah.
travelling 1.5months in southern africa would be awesome by myself and with the random people i'd have met along the way. but now, its a whole bag of mixed feelings. of course i'm excited. i get to see capetown again, to meet with friends one more time, to do all the awesome activities.. who wouldnt be? when i'm not studying, my brain is running wild with the possibilities. but then, there's my dad and my brother. that complicates things a little. ....... i'll see how it goes. & there's always a really tiny chance the old plan would work. but then again, the chance is about as big as the probability of winning the lottery. so, keywords. we. will. see.
monetary economics AND social work exam tomorrow. sianz. cant wait for it to be done with. but, then again, i think i wouldnt mind if it had dragged on longer. it wouldnt have meant the end of my sep...
oh. and the countdown has been reset. i arrive home on the 28th december instead of the 18th. blessing in disguise maybe. we.will.see.
ohwell. i give up trying to make all these things work. whatever happens will happen. God's in control of whatever the month turns out to be. bleah.
travelling 1.5months in southern africa would be awesome by myself and with the random people i'd have met along the way. but now, its a whole bag of mixed feelings. of course i'm excited. i get to see capetown again, to meet with friends one more time, to do all the awesome activities.. who wouldnt be? when i'm not studying, my brain is running wild with the possibilities. but then, there's my dad and my brother. that complicates things a little. ....... i'll see how it goes. & there's always a really tiny chance the old plan would work. but then again, the chance is about as big as the probability of winning the lottery. so, keywords. we. will. see.
monetary economics AND social work exam tomorrow. sianz. cant wait for it to be done with. but, then again, i think i wouldnt mind if it had dragged on longer. it wouldnt have meant the end of my sep...
oh. and the countdown has been reset. i arrive home on the 28th december instead of the 18th. blessing in disguise maybe. we.will.see.
south africa is seriously being so... africa.
Tuesday, November 9
this trip is turning out to be the most flexi-sched trip i have ever taken. ever. plans here are like water! every.single.thing. its not a bad thing & i've learnt a lot from all this wishy-washy solid-but-not-solid plan-changes-every-day 7 months. but i will be glad to have a routine once again.
unless of course, my newfound flexibility and willingness to submit to God's will just means that this flexi-7months is just the start of the rest of my life. scary thought right there. but like all the flexi-plans, scary AND exciting. who better to trust for my life plans than God anyway right?
first step is done with. i'm in south africa & its unbelievable. this is the n-th step: trusting God for an amazing holiday to end off my time here. i think i am spending Christmas here. i think.
i started exams today. and it doesnt even feel like exam season! i still have time to skype, chill over american dinners of BLTs and french toast, catch greys (which was awesome this week btw: AFRICA FTW! malawiiiiii... see. that was another plan). ohwellz. one down, 5 more to go. hello exams.
and there has been a lack of picture updates because, well, i still do not have a laptop adapter and its seriously hindering my ability to edit photos!!! ): this sucks. but, that means i have more things to do when i get back home. which, is probably a good thing anyway! (: so... here's to a good week!
unless of course, my newfound flexibility and willingness to submit to God's will just means that this flexi-7months is just the start of the rest of my life. scary thought right there. but like all the flexi-plans, scary AND exciting. who better to trust for my life plans than God anyway right?
first step is done with. i'm in south africa & its unbelievable. this is the n-th step: trusting God for an amazing holiday to end off my time here. i think i am spending Christmas here. i think.
i started exams today. and it doesnt even feel like exam season! i still have time to skype, chill over american dinners of BLTs and french toast, catch greys (which was awesome this week btw: AFRICA FTW! malawiiiiii... see. that was another plan). ohwellz. one down, 5 more to go. hello exams.
and there has been a lack of picture updates because, well, i still do not have a laptop adapter and its seriously hindering my ability to edit photos!!! ): this sucks. but, that means i have more things to do when i get back home. which, is probably a good thing anyway! (: so... here's to a good week!