i digress.

i am back from spring break! the kalahari desert experience did not materialise, but those days turned out to be the most fun! this trip encompassed amazement, wonder, excitement, adrenaline, meaning and a very full meaning of LIVING LIFE.

but, before i elaborate, or rather, before i let the pictures speak for themselves. i need to get this off my chest.

i thought i settled my thoughts and desires of travelling even more next year. i thought i came to a decision  that glorifies God and that i was at peace with. i thought that once i committed all these desires of adventure and experience and people to God, these wouldnt tempt me anymore. i thought i was ready to go home and serve God in where He has already placed me. i talked, i thought a lot, and i prayed a lot more. but now, once again, i am so utterly torn between this decision i have to make. and i dont have much time to make it.

its all too easy for Robert Frost to write about taking the road less travelled. i thought i knew where my heart lay and what i would forgo to reach my vision and attain those goals. and yet, in 12 days and through many conversations, i've returned from spring break with a changed perspective. suddenly, its not so clear anymore. i've waded into waist-deep water, muddied it and unmuddied it, lost and found my goals, but now i'm back at square one, smack in the middle of cloudy water yet again. i dont know if i've even gone an inch deeper or if i've maybe, taken a stride backwards. what God says about this, i dont know yet. because this tsunami of feelings and reflection took less than an hour (as of now) to flood my thoughts.

i came to the lab wanting to blog a tiny bit about the roadtrip and intending to spend the better part of 3 hours on my monetary economics paper. but that has just gone out the window because of the time i spent staring blankly with my mind running at who knows how many miles an hour. tonight's not going to be a night of much sleep. but i know what i must do. and that gives me some hope that i will make the right decisions soon.